When words just aren't enough...

They say to start at the beginning, to take your time...but is there any point when you know words won't do any justice to your feelings, emotions, thoughts?

That whatever that comes out is nowhere close to expressing the things you want to say...

That try and try as you might, the words that escape just don't cut it...and won't cut it...

That after searching and trying, you're not any closer to revealing any-thing, or any-more than before you started...

...

They say that "tears are words the heart can't express"...

And sometimes its just easier to sit back, give in, surrender, and cry your heart out...

Dreamland...

out partying...celebrating...sipping a midori and cranberry juice...or two...or three...and munching on KFC chips with extra chicken salt!!

Its been an EXTREMELY long past few weeks...not only with assignment upon assignment due, but also with job apps...not MY job apps though - with Bens...

Together, we've spent late nights up, hours and DAYS editing and RE-editing answers, researching company websites and profiles...thinking of situations past and present to "blow" the interviewers away...I feel drained just thinking about it all...

But this morning, at 8:42am, a phone call from Ben brought the much-anticipated news! Woo-hoo! Yeah baby! We did it! We made it! It was all worth-while! I was just as excited as he was - so much so that people on the tram were looking at me weirdly!! But I didn't care - all our hard work had paid off (his more than mine - but still...!!) and the absolute torture we'd been through over the last month amounted to something...but ONLY by the grace and mercy of God...

CONGRATULATIONS BEN - you've made it!! I've made it too...although just barely!! Know that GOD has granted you your heart's desire...

...

And now for BB Mak:

I will stand up for you no matter what you are going through,
going through, going through

You found a place where you belong
New friends that can do no wrong
That's what you believe
But who is going to be there when you fall
To build up when you are feeling small
Give you love that you need
Who will, I will
When the whole world turns against you,
Ain't no lie

Don't you know that I will stand up for you
No matter what you are going through
I'm still on your side
Any time day or night
Don't care if it's wrong or right
I'm still on your side

You want to run you want to break free
What you want ain't what you need
Can't you see that I care
I know I'm hard on you sometimes
But when you are looking for the things you can't find
Don't you know who'll be there
Who will, I will
When it's more than you can handle
Ain't no lie

I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there
I'll be there when you need me
I won't let you go
There's nothing I won't do I'll be there

I will be around when the others let you down
I'm still on your side
Anytime you need help and you can't find nobody else
I'm still on your side

...

P.S. Enjoy the freedom you have now 'coz you know, as much as I do, that it won't last for long!! haha

Cheers!

Patience is a virtue

I can't believe I have to wait 25 days for my next hair cut...thats three-and-a-half weeks - almost a month - which is then two-thirds of the "get your hair cut every six weeks" recommendation!!

Not happy Jan!!

ARGH!!

Breathe...just breath...long, deep breaths...

"Budgie Smugglers"

Look what I found from mountain designs!!

...

Description: Quick dry briefs for men. Made of a quick-dry and fast-wicking fabric.
Fabric: X-static®
Colour: Black Red
Sizes: S M L XL 2XL
End Use: Adventure Sport
Features & Benefits: • Fast wicking, quick drying fabric
• X-static® fabric minimises odour causing bacteria on longer trips



...

haha :Op

P.S. Vince, you know you like them!

Boading 2006 - still in the halfpipe!

35cm of snow is dumped on falls creek...talks of the boarding trip for 2006 are heightened...

I get numerous calls telling me to go...hmm...kinda sounds like a repeat of last year!

However, I'm not sure if I want to...

You know how you do something totally 110% fun and awesome and have the best time of your life...and the picture is ingrained in your mind, and the rush and the feeling all come back whenever you think about it?? Well thats kinda how I feel about my boarding trip last year...it was fantastic...I loved it...the moment has not faded one bit...

and i think that thats whats holding me back from saying "yes" straight away to this year's trip...

don't get me wrong. I'm sure this year will be great as well...but part of me wants to end on a good note...remembering the snow fights had, the tumbles, the stunts pulled, the jumps failed, the 180 come 360's...and I know that this year will just be different...different people...different dynamics...different feel to the whole trip...

i think I'm just scared...of what, I'm not totally sure...maybe its of risking the memory fading...or even having past memories return...of re-visiting the slopes been before without my closest friends beside me...of having an extremely emotional trip...or of not having enough emotion during the trip...I don't know...

- guys, for the moment I'm content with Hotham 2005...possibilities of Hotham 2006 are still in the halfpipe! I'll decide later on and let you know...thanks though!! -

Mothers Day

The literally tens of phone calls and emails starts with mothers day just around the corner...its a mad rush booking a restaurant (only to find that they're closed on sundays and we now have to do a sunday mothers day dinner on a saturday)...and finding a present (with the wrong colour and no sizes left dilemma, it looks like everyone else in melbourne has totally planned way ahead of time in getting their gifts) and the pressure is just too much to handle!!

...

You taught me everything
And everything you’ve given me
I always keep it inside
You’re the driving force in my life
There isn’t anything
Or anyone I can be
And it just wouldn’t feel right
If I didn’t have you by my side
You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were grey
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me
And no one else can be what you have been to me
You’ll always be you always will be the girl
In my life for all times

Mama, mama you know I love you
Oh you know I love you
Mama, mama you’re the queen of my heart
Your love is like
Tears from the stars
Mama, I just want you to know
Lovin’ you is like food to my soul

You’re always down for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did
And you took up for me
When everyone was downin’ me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on
There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me
And say to me I can face anything
And no one else can do
What you have done for me
You’ll always be
You will always be the girl in my life

...

awww...can you imagine the Boyz II Men singing this song to their mums?? heart melt...!!

Number crunching

Random realisation:

The numbers on telephones, fax machines and mobiles go:
1 2 3
4 5 6
7 8 9
0

But on calculators and keyboards they go:
7 8 9
4 5 6
1 2 3
0

Why is that?!

Brrr...its cold...

Its already 10:48am but still only 9 degrees...
...
I said...

Brr!
Its cold in here
I said there must be some Toros
In the atmosphere

Brr! Its cold in here
There must be some Toros
In the atmosphere

I said...

Oh-Ee-Oh-Ee-Oh
Ice! Ice! Ice!

Oh-Ee-Oh-Ee-Oh
Ice! Ice! Ice!
...
haha everytime I'm cold this "Brr! It's cold in here..." phrase pops into my mind...then the picture of dancers with "spirit fingers" follows...haha - what a great movie!!

*sigh* *tear* *sniff*

*sigh*

I miss Matt...

*tear*

For some reason, today I really really miss him...I want things to go back to how they were...his morning coffee, my morning mocha...gotcha calls on the fox...complaints about how cold it is, or how hot it is, or how early it is...calls the night before to check on whether he was going to pull a "sicky"...meeting him on the "corner"...

*sniff*

I miss the convos about the highs and the lows of the day - and life...

I miss being able to whinge, and vent, and share about anything and everything and have him listen, not judge, offer his advice, and still love me for who I am...

...

Matt its just not the same without you...come back soon(er than later)...

Another one gets to stay!

ANDY!!

Congratulations on receiving your PR!!

You get to stay!! Yay!! Hip hip hooray!!

Grace is back!!

Private number phone call at 9:42am this morning...

Me: Hello...
Grace: Hello - guess who...

...silence...and me deep in thought...

Me: Grace?
Grace: haha :) I'm back!
Me: What?! Nooo...when?! Where are you?! How?! Already?! For good?!

...a million questions all rushing out at once...I wanted to get up, jump around, yell and scream and laugh out loud, go and meet her - but I couldn't...DOH! I'm stuck at work!

Missing Miami

Its about now, when I have assignments to start, exams to study for and its raining and cold outside, that my mind starts to drift...
back to warm and sunny Miami...

tall palm trees...

white sand and the calm surf...

the massive houses...

cruises...

the beautiful skyline...


I can't believe its already been 3 months since I was there...I NEED to go back!

Comedy Festival 2006

Went to the 2006 Comedy festival last friday...

View from the ferris wheel...


Nina, Siew and Jo in the "cage"

The "ants" watching the big screen!

Nina trying to take a pic...but as usual, cutting herself out!

There we go! Much better!

The rhinos eating a chip!

Nina just couldn't resist!

The hippos got her head!

Dance floor...you want to go to the dance floor??!!

J-A-L meet-up!

We've FINALLY had the looong-awaited J-A-L meet-up!

Its been in the planning, and re-planning, since the beginning of the year...and now, 5 months since our last J-A-L meet-up, we've done it!

Alpha Chicks & Beta Chicks

Darren called me an alpha chick...

I didn't know what an alpha chick was...so...I googled it...and this is what I got!!

Alpha chick: A female that typically falls into the leadership roll among other females. Much like a pecking order for social cliques. When two "alpha chicks" come into social contact, there is some aggressive posturing until one "alpha chick" reigns leader. The loser "alpha chick" will then be ostracized from the social clique.

Beta chick: Darren! Theres no definition! Were you just pulling my leg or is there ACTUALLY something called a beta chick?!

Hmmm...interesting!!

From: Kel

An extract from an email from Kel...

"pass the msg around.. i miss everyone down there heaps.. sorry i couldnt be as connected as i want to be.. work and work and work.. looking forward to the retirement day (dunno if that'll still happen at 30) sigh..

..saw the closing of commonwealth games the other day on tv and thought that it felt like yesterday when i left melb.. its been like almost 7 months.. wow.. thats really quick..

in ur last mail, i think u said something like wasnt expecting a mail from me .. or something like that.. hmm.. WORST.. its just a matter of time .. hope that u guys have not forgotten me yet.. if you have, WORST!! WORST! WORST..

..remember to say a big hello to the people there.. (i know u'll probs forget... so u better do it..)

remember .. send my regards to the gang... whoever they are.. hee.. i've not forgotten all of you .. hee.. so be my mesenger.."

After the NUMEROUS reminders I got, I figured I had better do as I'm told!!

Everyone - Kel sends out a huge "hello!"

There - done!

Grace is "comin bac"

Got this message from Grace...

"hi! yes im comin bac soon. in a couple of wks time. no other updates tho. haha"

I can't wait! Yeah!

How exciting!

To: Kel

HAPPY (belated belated belated) BIRTHAY!! :)

Joh's farewell

Joh's farewell was celebrated with drinks...


fire...


the boys...


the girls...


cheesy grins and a camera!!